Grieving My Mother

 

My Momma

I know I've been away for a while, and I have tried to start this post several times. It just wasn't time, and I wasn't ready.

I'm not sure that I am now, but I just need to write something. I feel I need to push myself to be able to type the words.

On November 22, just after noon, my mother passed away suddenly.

Every time I say those words, it feels so odd. So surreal. How can this be true? I don't know this reality. I don't know myself without my Momma. Every day is a new challenge.

The memories, the missed phone calls, the plans we'll never finish. Some days it is just too much. I have to take it in bits. Push down the lump in my throat and push through. How do I just go on? How do I keep going and find normal?

My mother was one of the most selfless people I have ever known. She literally lived her life for others and taking care of everyone she loved. She never said no to anything anyone needed. Even when she was tired, or sick, or didn't have the extra time or money. She would say, "Sure!" and make it happen.

She strived to keep her family close. Every birthday, holiday, special event. She was our planner and coordinator. She would make sure everyone was included and felt loved and accepted, no matter what.

Her pure love and acceptance of everyone was by far one of her most memorable qualities. My mother did not have an easy life. She had many trials, and heartbreaks, but she taught us to always be reminded of how blessed we were. How loved we were, and that God is always with us. Her love for and serving the Lord was her biggest accomplishment. I know one day we will be together again, and that is my comfort on days I struggle with her not being here.

I love you so much, Momma.

Book Review: The Moonshiner's Daughter by Donna Everhart

 The Moonshiner's Daughter:

A Southern Coming-of-age Saga of Family and Loyalty

by

Donna Everhart

Southern Historical fiction

Young Adult

Kindle edition/368 pages

Quote: "I ain't likely to take up something I hate, Merritt. No matter how good the money is. I might as well go out and be a prostitute, or something."~ Jessie Sasser

From the Cover:

Set in North Carolina in 1960 and brimming with authenticity and grit, The Moonshiner's Daughter evokes the singular life of sixteen-year-old, Jessie Sasser, a young woman determined to escape her family's past...

Generations of Sasser's have made moonshine in the Brushy Mountains of Wilkes County, North Carolina. Their history is recorded in a leather-bound journal, that belongs to Jessie Sasser's daddy, but Jessie wants no part in it. As far as she's concerned, moonshine caused her mother's death a dozen years ago.

My Review:

The Moonshiner's Daughter

The first time this book popped up on my Goodreads recommendations, I knew I had to read it!

I haven't read any of Donna Everhart's books, but this probably won't be my last.

I'm a sucker for anything Southern set, and the vivid characters Everhart has created makes them ones you won't easily forget.

From the beginning we see Jessie, a teenager struggling with so much already, in her young years.

At age four, she witnessed her mother die in a horrible accident. Now, with only her father and brother close, she struggles with feeling unheard, unappreciated, an eating disorder, trying to find her true friends, and learn who she is. All the while, having to hide what her family truly does.

Jessie has always felt moon shining was bad in every way. She's seen it kill her mother, make her uncle a mean alcoholic, who is also greedy. It has cost her brother his baseball career, her father put in jail, and caused violent tension between them and the neighbors.

Through most of this book, I wanted to cry for her, or scream at her to RUN!

She starts out with such strong convictions. Her reasoning is completely valid, and although she has typical(at not so) teenage problems, she seems to be unwavering on the issue of bootlegging.

By the last few chapters, I was ready to through the book, literally!

The story just seems to make a wide U-turn, and completely throw me off.

I won't say too much, but the ending was completely unexpected!

As a whole, the book was beautifully written. At times, I felt I was inside Jessie's world. To me, that makes a great book.

I did only give this one 3 stars. I just felt the end was sort of too unbelievable. Maybe, it just wasn't what I would have chosen, or how I would have ended Jessie's story.

I hope you enjoy this review.

Let me know if you've read this one, or any of Donna Everhart's other books.

Goodreads Giveaway Wins!(and future reviews)

 Goodreads Giveaways=Free Books!

Who doesn't love free books?

I have been using Goodreads Giveaways for years! I love that there are always so many listed for you to enter to win. There are print and ebook formats that you can choose from. You can narrow down your search by genre, and/or when the giveaway ends.

Or, like me, you can scan through the list and enter just about all of them. 

These books are posted/sponsored by either the author, or a publishing company;i.e. Random House.

There is no purchase necessary, and the only "rules" are agreeing to the terms of each giveaway.

For example, you must give your mailing address if you win a physical book in order for it to be sent to you.

You must agree to Goodreads terms and conditions, which basically says you cannot hold them responsible for anything. Once you enter the giveaway, it is solely under the author or publisher's terms and agreement.

I'm pretty sure we've all read similar before, but it is always a good idea to read through the rules, and make sure you understand them.

Goodreads has been such a wonderful website that supports all types of authors, readers, and reviewers. I have never had any issues with receiving a book I have won. I will add, there have been times, it has taken over a month to receive the book (physical), but, honestly, it's a free book!

I'm sure you have something to read while you wait. 

Each giveaway will show how many copies of that book are available to win. That can be anywhere from 1 to 100. It all depends on who is posting the giveaway. Usually, it will also show how many entries there are for each giveaway.

I will say, I have won a book where there were only 20 copies available, and maybe 2,000 entries.

I've also lost when there were 100 copies and only about 900 entries. It's all about luck.

My advice is to look through them often, and enter as many as you want.

Here are the 4 that I have won just in the last two months!

Hereafter: The Telling Life of Ellen O'Hara by Vona Groarke

Description:

(copied from Bookshop.org)

A lyrical portrait of a young Irish woman reinventing herself at the turn of the twentieth century in America

Ellen O'Hara was a young immigrant from Ireland at the end of the nineteenth century who, with courage and resilience, made a life for herself in New York while financially supporting those at home. Hereafter is her story, told by Vona Groarke, her descendant, in a beautiful blend of poetry, prose, and history.

The Nurse's Secret by Amanda Skenandore

Description:

(copied from Bookshop.org)

A thrilling historical novel of the dark side of gilded age New York City.

Based on Florence Nightingale's nursing principles, Bellevue is the first school of its kind in the country. Where once nurses were assumed to be ignorant and unskilled, Bellevue prizes discipline, intellect, and moral character, and only young women of good breeding need apply. At first, Una balks at her prim classmates and the doctors' endless commands. Yet life on the streets has prepared her for the horrors of injury and disease found on the wards, and she slowly gains friendship and self-respect.

Just as she finds her footing, Una's suspicions about a patient's death put her at risk of exposure, and will force her to choose between her instinct for self-preservation, and exposing her identity in order to save others.

On the Way to Christmas:Three Stories by Sheila Roberts, Melissa Ferguson, and Amy Clipston

Description:

(copied from Bookshop.org)

A Christmas Do-Over by Sheila Roberts

Darby doesn't want to go home for the holidays, but a career fail sends her slinking back to the small town she always wanted to escape. No one there is especially glad to see the former mean girl--especially not her sister, Erica, or childhood best friend, Gregory. Darby is working hard to be a better person, but has she eaten enough humble pie to make amends?

Dashing Through the Snow by Melissa Ferguson

When Willow's boyfriend of seven years dumps her on the eve of a romantic getaway, she decides to take the two-week train trip on The Christmas Express alone. Hurt as she feels, she can't anticipate how the hilarious rebound ride with conductor Oliver, elf Ian, and aging world adventurer Clarence will heal her heart--and renew her sense of worth.

A Perfectly Splendid Christmas by Amy Clipston

Kacey adores the metropolitan life, but when she gets away to help her sister during a family crisis and run her bakery, she falls in love with former classmate Drew. The problem: he's a small-town man, and she's a big-city woman. Is their love big enough to overcome such a major difference?

More Than You Can See: A Mother's Memoir by Barbara Rubin

Description:

(copied from Bookshop.org)

Barbara Rubin writes this story of joy and sorrow mixed with humor and rage as both mother and advocate for her daughter Jenn. In this role, she witnessed firsthand the battles that come when a person is the most vulnerable, but she also saw the gift of human kindness and the difference it can make in another person's life. She hopes that her journey, lived through her daughter's injury, will help others understand the lessons that can be learned from tolerance and will give hope to families whose paths have also been darkened by tragedy. This is her first book. Barbara resides in Washington Crossing, PA.

Wow! I don't know which one to read first!

Each one appeals to me for different reasons.

I'm always a sucker for a good memoir, or historical fiction based on fact. On the other hand, maybe a cozy holiday book soon would work. Ah!

Help me choose!

Which one should I read first?

Watch for the reviews of these books later, too.

Have you entered any book giveaways lately?

Have you won any? I'd love to know!

Book Review: The Locked Door by Freida McFadden

 The Locked Door

by
Freida McFadden

Psychological thriller

audiobook/ 8 hours

Quote:" Dad always says that If you're going to do something wrong, at least be smart enough not to let anyone see you do it."

From the cover:

Some doors are locked for a reason...

While eleven-year-old Nora Davis was up in her bedroom doing homework, she had no idea her father was killing women in the basement.

Until the day the police arrived at their front door. 

Decades later, Nora's father is spending his life behind bars, and Nora is a successful surgeon with a quiet, solitary existence.

Nobody knows her father was a notorious serial killer. And she intends to keep it that way.

Then Nora discovers one of her young female patients has been murdered. In the same unique and horrific manner that her father used to kill his victims. 

Somebody knows who Nora is. Somebody wants her to take the fall for this unthinkable crime. But she's not a killer like her father. The police can't pin anything on her.

As long as they don't look in her basement...

My Review:

This is my fourth read by Freida McFadden. I so wanted to love this book as much as the first 3 I've read. Sadly, I did not.

The book started out pretty well, and I'll even say had good bones, but somehow it just fell short of my expectations.

I almost felt like this book was made in haste, possibly falling into the quantity over quality trap.

For me, Nora just seemed a tad off. Not in a daughter of a serial killer way, but off as in the writer never really figured out who she was supposed to be.

She seems to have had, at one time, similar traits to her father, but then insists she is nothing like him.

She cannot remember her ex-boyfriend, or why she broke up with him years ago, yet she feels safe enough to hop in the sack after their second meeting.

Furthermore, she makes reference over and over to her father's type, yet never mentions any similarities in the one around her with those features.

I loved the idea this story had going, but there were just too many times I was going, "What? That makes no sense!" 

Right up until the very end.

For the record, I will definitely continue reading McFadden's books! Everyone can have an off project.

It wasn't my favorite, but for the sake of author's name, the idea of the story, and a few well played scenes, I'm giving,The Locked Door a 3-star rating.